In Search of Christmas

In Search of Christmas

     Jedd’s fingers moved over the control unit like they had a mind of their own, while his unblinking eyes never left the television screen. I wish mum would let me play my game machine more. 

     “You’d better head home now, Jedd. You’ve been here for six hours, and I really need to close shop now. It’s getting dark and your mother will be wondering where you are, considering you were only supposed to be picking up a few things for her.”

     “Can’t I just get to the end of this level?” I don’t want to go home, especially tonight. 

     “I think I’ve been more than generous letting you stay this long. It’s Christmas Eve. I’m sure your mother could do with some help, considering—”

     “No one let’s me do what I want anymore! Christmas sucks! Don’t tell me what to do. You’re not my father!” Jedd scowled at Nick Grantham.

     “I apologise, I didn’t mean to bring up—anyway, your mum would want to know where you are. She’s probably worried sick. Come on, I’ll walk you home.”

    “No! I don’t need your help.”

     Nick smiled. “Of course you don’t. I should’ve known better. Why you’re almost, what—eleven now? You’re practically an adult.”

    “That’s right.” Jedd raised his eyebrows and lowered his lids as he gave a resolute nod. “Anyway, mum sent me here, so she knows where I am.”

     “Yes, but that was six hours ago; don’t you think she may be wondering why it’s taking so long? Tell you what, could you keep me company then? We go home the same way.”

     Jedd rolled his eyes. “I suppose so; promise you won’t talk about Christmas. I hate it!” I never want to celebrate Christmas ever again! That...happened then!

     “It's a deal.” Nick grinned as he held out his hand to Jedd, who looked sideways at him.

     What’s he doing that for? He’s weird.

     “That’s what grown up people do to seal a deal, Jedd.” Nick had opened his delicatessen several years before Jedd and his mother moved into the area. His deli had a wide variety of things on sale, everything a person would need, from a safety pin to electrical appliances.

     Jedd grabbed his shopping bag and waited. He saw Nick flitting around the shop collecting bits and pieces, bread, fruit, vegetables, drink and some pre-wrapped Christmas presents. After placing everything in a large backpack, he slipped his arms through the broad straps hitching it up onto his back.

     “Whatchya doing?”

     “Oh nothing, just gotta make a few stops on my way home.” He punched in a code for the alarm and then headed out, pulling the door shut. The bell alerting Nick to customers coming and going, jangled. He secured the door and slipped the keys into his pocket.

     Jedd started walking down the pathway on a direct route to his house when Nick turned to head in a different direction. “That’s not the way to our houses.”

     “I know, Jedd, but do you mind going this way just this once? Only to keep me company, of course.”

    “Why?”

     “Remember I told you about making a few stops on the way? Well, I need to go this way. It’s up to you though; you can make your own decision, you’re old enough.”

     “It’s the long way around though.” Why’s he going that way? I don't wanna'  go home, anyway. 

     They walked along a badly lit street, where few lights shone. Those that did were so dim they may as well have been off. Fog was starting to swirl around them. Jedd pulled his thick denim jacket close around his chest. It’s freezing out here. Why’d I agree to do this?

     “Feeling a bit chilly there, Jedd?”

     “This fog doesn’t help.”

     “Yes, it becomes very cold out here at night for a lot of people.”  

     Jedd caught Nick smirking. What's he smiling about? A flickering light ahead distracted him.  Chills ran down his spine. What’s that?

     “Ahh, we’re nearly at my first stop. It’s not far now.”

     As they neared, the glow grew brighter. Jedd could make out silhouettes of people standing around the flickering light. As they approached, the figures looked up and waved. They huddled around a rusted forty-four-gallon drum in which a fire blazed.

     A grey-haired man, a younger man and a woman stood warming their hands. Grime covered their faces and the whites of their eyes seemed to glow in contrast. The flickering flames made their eyes appear to be moving around everywhere. They look creepy. 

     Their clothes were minimal and filthy. The woman wore a worn-out pair of sneakers. Jedd noticed her toes sticking out the side. She should get a new pair of shoes.

     “Nick, so good to see you. Merry Christmas. Who’s your little friend?” The younger man asked.

     “A neighbour. He’s walking me home on this chilly night.”

     “Very nice of ya, lad,” the older man said, making eye contact. He had kind eyes and unshaven face.

     “Well—I…”

     Nick handed the younger man a small cooked chicken, some fresh fruit and pre-made commercial plum puddings. “Here you go, John, a few things I picked up for you and your family, for Christmas dinner.”

     “Wow, thank you. We appreciate everything you do for us, Nick. Myles, JJ and Miriam will eat like kings tomorrow, thanks to you.”

     Jedd’s eyes widened when he saw a child several years younger than himself peep out with haunting blue eyes from his mother’s long threadbare skirt. That must be JJ; he looks so little. He had longish hair to his collar. It looked like it was once blonde. He wore an old tee shirt with holes under the arms and a pair of shabby pants that reached halfway down his calf. His feet were bare. Who’s this family? I remember mum telling about some folks that were poor, but this is—”    

      “Hey there, John Junior.” Nick squatted down and handed him a large apple. He snatched it and retreated behind his mother’s skirt.

     Jedd could hear him crunching non-stop on the apple. Well, that was rude, he didn’t even say thank you.

     Handing them four presents, he whispered, “Oh and these are to open tomorrow, there’s one for all of you.” He winked, nodding to where the boy had disappeared. “Well, we must get going. Merry Christmas.”

     Jedd stared back at the group as they walked away. “Why don’t they go home? It’s way too cold to stay outside in this weather. I wouldn’t be hanging around outside if I was cold.”

     Nick Grantham looked at Jedd and raised an eyebrow. “That was their home, Jedd. They have no home to go to like you and me.”

     “That’s not true! What about those places like shelters and stuff? Mum told me homeless people can go there and get food and clothes.”

     “This town is small. There is only one such place here, but it only takes people for a few weeks at a time, and then they have to leave so they're on the street again. I’d have them at my place but there are forty or fifty others like them around here and unfortunately, I don’t have room for them all.”

     “What about the church? Our church could take them in and feed ‘em and stuff. That’s what they do.”

     “They do as much as they can, Jedd, but tonight it’s Christmas Eve and there are preparations to be made for tomorrow. Oh, sorry, wasn’t supposed to talk to you about Christmas?”

     Jedd lowered his head briefly before looking up at Nick.

     “Anyway, we must keep going. We have to get home eventually.”

     As they walked on, darkness descended and the streetlights seemed brighter.

     They walked silently for a while.

     “How’d those people lose their homes?” Jedd asked.

     “Despite our country being one of the richest in the world, Jedd, many people live in houses that are run-down, overcrowded and outright dangerous. Others have lost their homes altogether, like that family. A decent home is basic to people’s well-being.”

     “But why’d they lose their house in the first place?”

     “Could be lots of things. Run out of money, no job, no family to help them out. Bad housing can take away people’s security and can affect their health. Some people really don’t get a fair chance in life. We take for granted how lucky we are.”

     “Health? What d’ya mean?”

     “Let me show you.” Nick turned into a driveway of a rundown shanty of a house.

     “Where are you going?”

     “This is my next stop. Don’t worry, Jedd. I know these people.” He knocked on the door.

     They waited. After a few minutes, a man opened the door a little way. “Oh, it’s you, Nick, come on in.”

     “Thanks, Jason. How’s Karen today?”

     “Not too good today, she’s in a lot of pain again. Headaches gettin’ worse.”

     Jedd went to walk in with Nick.

    “Oy! where’d ya think your goin’, boy?” Jason yelled.

     “He’s with me, Jason.” Nick moved aside to let Jedd walk in.

     “Don’t touch anythin’, and say nothin’, right?” Jason retorted.

     Jedd shrunk back, his eyes wide, and nodded. They walked through a passageway with ripped wallpaper hanging off the walls. The floor was thick with dust. As they walked past the kitchen, flies buzzed around old food and dishes sat piled up on a sink. This place is disgusting and it stinks. He waved his hand in front of his nose.

     Someone seized his wrist roughly and dragged him forward.

    “You little brat! How dare you—” Jason coughed all over Jedd as he leant over to grab him.

     Jedd squealed.

     “Jason, please let the boy go, he doesn’t know any better. I have brought some things for you and Karen, which should help with her pain.”
 
     Jason released Jedd who rubbed his wrist. Whoa! He’s so angry, what’s the matter with him?

     “Jedd, go and wait outside until I come back. I’m sorry, Jason. I should’ve known better than to bring him in, under the circumstances.”

     “No—actually, I’m the one that should be apologising. The boy can stay. Do him good to see some of the real world.” Jason glared at Jedd.

     The three of them walked through a doorway that hung off one hinge. A woman lay in a dishevelled bed. Her long red hair stuck together in stringy clumps on a pillow wet with sweat. Her eyes were closed.

     “Hey, Sweetie, look who’s here to visit.”  Jason wiped her forehead with a damp flannel.

     Jedd saw a different side of the angry man who’d accosted him a few minutes before.

     “Hi there, Karen. I have some pain meds for you. Jason told me your headaches are getting worse?” Nick bent his head to one side.

     Karen opened her eyes and smiled at him. Her gaunt appearance was accentuated by   dark shadows under her eyes. She spied Jedd standing in the shadows watching. “Timmy, is that you? I knew you’d come back. Look, Jason, Timmy’s back. Come here, mummy’s baby.” She stretched her hands out and lunged towards Jedd, who stepped back and froze.

     Jason laid her down again. “No, Karen, Timmy died, remember? We buried his ashes under his favourite tree-house.”

     “But he’s over there; our Timmy’s standing right here.”

     “She’s delirious with fever, pay no attention.” Jason swabbed her forehead again and stroked her head. She closed her eyes and once again drifted off to sleep.

     Nick handed Jason a packet of painkillers and some medicine for diarrhoea; some that can be purchased over the counter. “This medicine should help her with her bowel disorder. By the way, here is some food and drink along with a small gift to open tomorrow.”

     “Thank you, Nick. I’m not sure where we’d be without you. Shall we do our...thing?”

     Jedd frowned. What’s he saying? He watched as Jason and Nick walked to the window and pushed it up together. It screeched like fingernails down a blackboard, as they wrenched it open, setting Jedd’s teeth on edge. Jason leant out and lifted up a large flat dish with a candle set into the middle. Fresh flowers lay around the outside of the candle in the middle of the container. Both men lit smaller candles and together they ignited the large one. They stood still for a few moments and Jedd heard them mumble something then Jason placed it on the windowsill and closed the window. The flame flickered but didn't go out. 

     “Well, we’d better head home now. We’ll show ourselves out; you tend to Karen.”

     Thank goodness. I don’t want to stay here for a minute longer. “What’d you do back there with the candles?”

     “Wait until we're outside," Nick whispered. 

     They walked back toward the front door. Jedd stared ahead until a rat intercepted his path. He jumped, almost landing in Nick’s arms. “I can’t wait to get out of here.”

     “That’s just it, Jedd. At least we can walk out of here. Jason and Karen have nowhere else to go and no one to help them. So many folks miss out on so much.”

     “At least they have a house, not like those other people, but I wish they’d clean it,” he whispered. 

     They headed on up the dim street. Jedd looked back at the house they'd come from.

     “Every year we light a candle in memory of his son. A little gesture to honour Timothy’s passing.”

     “What happened to him?”

     “He died of an illness not unlike his mum’s got now. Unfortunately, for children it affects them more seriously, causing death most times.”They lost their son, who was about your age, two years ago and now they are both unwell. Karen is quite seriously ill. She’s suffering from dehydration and fever, and may even die. Jason has asthma and breathing issues from working with asbestos. Cleaning and housework is not their priority, right now, Jedd.”

     “But doesn’t the mess only make things worse? That Jason-man was so angry.”

     “Yes, but it’s a vicious circle, Jedd. They’re both sick, have no energy, virtually no money for equipment or detergents to clean, and little time to use for cleaning. The only way to break this cycle is with intervention.”

     “What’s that?”

     “Intervention is when people come into the home to support others that can’t do everything themselves. They do housework, gardening, talk with them to keep them company, that sort of thing. That is the only assistance they might get?”

     “Don’t they have anyone that goes there to help?”

     “Yes, but those groups that help have hundreds of people to support; some far worse off than Jason and Karen. Most of them are volunteers who have their own families, yet they still want to help out.”

     Jedd raised his eyebrows. "They must have lots of time." It’s nice of them to help.

     “I’m sorry Jason grabbed you back there. I think you reminded him of their son. Losing Timmy and then Karen falling ill—who could feel happy with all that on their mind? If you’d like to go home now, I’ll understand. I only have one more stop. It’s just over the next rise. You don’t have to come with me.”

     Jedd kept walking. “He must be really sad inside about his son.” I’m sad inside too. Jedd followed Nick with his head down.

     “Of course he is, Jedd.”

     Jedd continued to look ahead unblinking. “I think I know how that man feels. I feel angry sometimes about my dad.”

     “Oh?”

     “He died too. Two years ago, today.” Jedd glanced up at Nick. “He swerved to miss a reindeer you know, and crashed into a tree.”

     Nick nodded, but said nothing.

     Jedd took a deep breath. “Where’re we going now?”

     They walked a little further and reached a large iron gate with no visible handles or knobs. Jedd looked up, eyes wide, mouth agape. The entrance was set into a thick brick wall twice his height. Jedd cupped his hands around his eyes, like blinkers on a horse, and peered through steel bars on the gate. An old building sat right in the middle of a large amount of land. Christmas lights were hanging off every surface and tree, making the whole area around the house light up like daytime. Large figures of Santa Claus and his reindeer flashed on the roof. Glowing snowmen and candy cane sculptures were dotted around the yard and Christmas music was playing in sync with the flashing decorations.

     Nick pressed a button on a panel to the right of the gate, which lit up. It beeped and then a voice came through the speaker on the intercom.

     “Hello, can I help you?”

     “Yes, it’s Nick. Is that you, Joyce?”

     “Yes, come in Nick. The children have been waiting for you all day. They're excited.”

     A loud clank sounded and the gate released. Jedd didn’t move.

     “Come on, Jedd, this is Shelley’s Shelter for Orphaned Children. It’s perfectly safe,” The path was as wide as the gateway and as they walked, their shoes crunched with every step.

     “Huh! No one could sneak in here.” Jedd laughed.

     “I think that’s the idea.”

     A plump woman wearing a red and green calf-length dress answered the door. She had thick, wavy grey hair decorated with tinsel. She wore a flashing Christmas badge, and her hazel eyes sparkled with kindness. “Nick Grantham. Always a pleasure seeing you.” Her voice sounded cheerful and lively. She leant over and gave Nick a firm hug. Over his shoulder, she spotted Jedd. “Well, well, who do we have here, Nick? Another one of your rescued children?”

     “No, no, Joyce. This is Jedd Stanton, he lives across the road from me. He’s keeping me company on our way home.”

     “How very thoughtful, young man. Well, both of you come in, come in. It’s getting chilly out there. Would you like a hot chocolate and some biscuits, Jedd?”

     Jedd looked to Nick, who shrugged. “Yes please.”

     “What lovely manners. You two go ahead. I’m sure the children can’t wait to see you, Nick.” She smiled.

     “Before I do, would you mind putting these under the Christmas tree for tomorrow, please?”

     “Why do you do all this, Nick?”

     “Oh I don’t know, makes me feel good inside knowing that I helped someone else I guess.”

     “Wow! Look at this place.” Jedd scanned the area. Muffled giggles and happy squeals came from the next room. A blazing fire crackled in a large stone fireplace giving the whole room a golden glow.  Several small hand-embroidered stockings were hung in a line along the mantelpiece. In one corner an exquisitely decorated Christmas tree, almost reaching the ceiling, sparkled like dew on a crisp autumn morning. White lights blinked, lighting up the silver and gold baubles and tinsel placed precisely around the tree. A large collection of presents filled the space underneath. Jedd saw Joyce placing the gifts Nick had given her amongst them.

     “Come and meet the children, Jedd.” Nick rested his hand on Jedd's shoulder.

     When Nick and Jedd walked through the door, all the children except a couple fell silent. Then, an uproar of squeals and greetings exploded as about eight children ran over to Nick, nearly bowling him over. Jedd couldn’t help but smile. Well, they certainly know Nick. He must do this a lot.

     They crawled over him and he rolled around the floor wrestling with a couple of the boys. Jedd noticed their ages. Some of these kids look as young as two. That one looks fifteen...even older than me...living here, with no family. 

     “Did ya bring some presents?” asked one freckled, red-headed young boy.

     “Terry you don’t ask people that, it’s rude,” an older girl with long dark hair chimed in.

     Nick held up a finger and waggled it. His smile turned into to a stern stare. The children went quiet. “Amy’s right, you don’t ask such things,” he admonished, and then let out a guffaw, re-igniting the roar of children’s laughter. “You’ll have to wait and see tomorrow, but—” he patted the outside of his clothes, sticking his tongue to the side and making a bug-eyed face as he reached deep into his pockets, “something just magically appeared in my jacket pockets. Fancy that.”

     The children quietened again, except for a couple of owl-eyed young girls, who covered their mouths and giggled when everyone else was silent.

     After a few seconds, Nick lifted out two fists full of wrapped lollies and threw them over the heads of the children. He reached for more and they all scattered, grappling for the flying sweets.

     Jedd laughed aloud. Guess they do sort of have family here.

     “Well, what are you waiting for, Jedd? Go get ‘em.”

     With that admission, he dove amongst the children giggling and grabbing for the lollies. When things calmed down, Jedd had managed to get his hands on several. He pocketed some, but gave the majority to the younger children who, not being as quick, had missed out.

     “That was a nice thing to do, Jedd. How did you feel when you gave those lollies away?”

     Jedd shrugged. After the hot chocolate and biscuits, Jedd and Nick were on the way home once again.

     “What happened to their parents?”

     “Oh, some died of illness, some just up and left them on the doorstep. Some did it out of love for them because they didn’t have jobs or the money to look after them.”

     “That’s wrong, they should look after their own kids.” Jedd crossed his arms and frowned.

     “Some people think their child’s needs are more important than their own happiness.”

     “That’s just stupid.”

     “It’s a funny old world, that’s for sure. Well, here we are. Thank you for your company tonight. Try to have a good day tomorrow.”

     Nick turned to walk across the road to his home. “Nick?”

     “Yes, Jedd.”

     “Merry Christmas.”

     “Merry Christmas, Jedd. Oh, by the way, I almost forgot: there are two more gifts in here, and they happen to have your name on one and your mother’s on the other. Would you like to put them under your Christmas tree?”

     Jedd looked down. “We don’t normally put one up, because it reminds us of—well you know—my dad.”

     “Oh well, perhaps you can do something about that.” Nick smiled and waved goodbye.

     “Nick?”

     “Yes?”

     Jedd ran over and threw his arms around Nick, who smiled. Jedd turned and ran inside, slamming the door.

     “Mum, Mum!” Jedd’s grin spread from ear-to-ear.

     “Jeddadiah Stanton, where in God’s name have you been? I’ve been worried sick about you all day.”

     “With Nick; I walked him home.”

     “Thank goodness for that. I must remember to thank him for bringing you home safely.”

     “It doesn’t matter, I want to put up our old Christmas tree tonight...and...I want to light a candle to remember Dad...and I want to give some of my toys, games and clothes to the orphanage up the road and—” Jedd’s words tumbled out one after the other.

     Jedd’s mother’s eyes shot open. “Hold on, Jedd, slow down. What are you saying? You hate Christmas.”

     “I—I changed my mind. Don’t ask me why now, but can we please put the tree up? Look, Nick gave you and me a present. We can’t have presents without a Christmas tree.” 

     “Okay, okay, I will try to find it upstairs.”

     Jedd looked out the window at all the lights and decorations lighting up the street on Christmas Eve. Tears trickled down his cheeks. I really miss you, Dad, but I know what I want to be when I grow up now. I’m going to build lots of shelters so that the homeless people have somewhere to live. I’ll pay lots of helpers to go into homes like Jason and Karen’s. I’ll be so rich that I can buy things for the kids in orphanages. 

     “Found it, Jedd. We still have some decorations. They’re a bit old and dusty, but that doesn’t matter. I can’t believe—never mind, let’s put this Christmas tree up."

     Jedd noticed his mum grinning as he helped her put the tree up and decorated it together. She hadn’t stopped smiling since he got home. Nick’s right; it does feel good inside. When they’d finished, Jedd admired it. Our tree is as great as the one at the orphanage.
      
     “Why the sudden change, Jedd?” Tears rolled down her cheeks.

     Jedd rushed over and hugged her. “I’ll tell you later, Mum.” They both held each other and shared a long overdue cry.